day before black belt test

Tonight is the night  before the black belt test and I'm extremely nervous, anxious excited. After much thought I went to class tonight and I'm glad I did. We reviewed step sparring  which I need to practice. Even after class and talking to one of my instructors my stomach was turning. Now it's 1:40 in the morning unable to sleep because I can't tune it out. Everytime I close my eyes I see myself doing form, or a technique. This is an exciting and huge step to take after years of sacrifice blood sweat and tears.  At least knowing my friends from class will be there and one instructor. Mostly the anxiety of not knowing how I'll be tested what will go on will I do forms alone or is it like a class and Master will be watching me more? Guess I'll find out tomorrow.
I'm going shopping with mom but will do some light practicing before try and rest and relax until test time. I'll write tomorrow to update how it went. aaaaah

black belt test

So part 1 of the journey is coming and after all the four years of sacrificing, practicing, blood, sweat and tears  I am testing for black belt. Just saying those words is making my heart race.  I get nervous while doing forms during a regular belt promotion test knowing everyone's eyes are on me. Now all eyes are on me while I'm testing for black belt. No black belt isn't the end it's the beginning but it's a large step towards that. It seems now like there's so much to go over  and not enough time which is even more nerve racking. It can't come soon enough but yet it can. Time to step it up and practice. I know if I wasn't ready yet Master wouldn't test me and yet I still can't help but be nervous. Going to do the best I can :-)

Good news and frustration

As with teaching lets start with some good news. Last Friday Grandmaster gave me my fifth stripe and told me to prepare for the upcoming black belt test. Of course now i'm so nervous and every class counts double in my mind. Now for the bad news, I haven't been able to get to class much because I've been working uptown and by the time I get home it's after 7. The trains have not been very cooperating. More bad news is somehow I hurt the side of my knee to the point where I can't walk or bend it so going to class is definitely out at this point. I still can't pinpoint where or how I injured it but I've been so busy lately it could have been doing anything. As much as it pains it I'm going to take it easy and rest to let the injury heal and if needed see a doctor.  It's so frustrating I've only been to class three days this week but somehow someway I plan on making it up. I don't know when but I will!!! This will not stop me!!

frustration

After everything seemed to be going along well BAM it all falls apart. While I'm in the process of earning my fifth stripe the last one to qualify to test for Black belt. The evening I had a chance to prove I know the form and is able to teach it with Master's attention on me my mind blanks and I mess up the form.  I went home frustrated with myself but determined to go back and prove that I know the forms. Unfortunately it didn't work out that way. That night I watched the Ranger game with my dad sitting on my legs the way we do sometimes in class. Later that night when I stood up my calf muscle pounded never a good sign. Pushing it in the back of my mind I laid down stretching the muscle out figuring it was just the way I was sitting or perhaps a cramp and that it'd go away.
When I woke up the next morning the calf muscle pain got worse. It hurt to stand on it, let alone walk on it. Since it was Tuesday I had to go to our last class which was all the way uptown and walking up and down steps wasn't appealing to me. I  tried to keep off the muscle, gently massaged it hoping it'd go away. The pain subsided so I was able to walk somewhat normally but climbing and going down steps proved to be difficult. I goggled calf pain and came across two options either a blood clot or a calf sprain. I text my brother who was an FDNY EMT and explained the pain I was feeling. He told me it was more a muscle strain which did make me feel better. I went back on goggle and researched again concluding the symptoms I was feeling was a grade 2 sprain no bruising pain when I walk and touch the area. The website said recovery time would be about 4 weeks. 4 week?? I can't stay out for 4 weeks. *sigh*  I took the advice of treatment and will take each day as it comes. I don't want to push it an make the injury worse but can't stay out for that long either. what's worse is that since everything we do is with our legs I can't even practice. This is going to drive me nuts!!
Patience and perseverance

Thursday's class

Well it's Thursday, and it's the second day in a row I came home drenched in sweat. This afternoon I practiced down in my basement. Using the bag I have I practiced roundhouse kicks tornado kicks which I still need a little work on using my hips. I also practiced jumping back kick which I need work on. I'm going to save up for a mat may be if I have a soft surface I'll get over my fear of jumping. It'll help with the flying side kick too because I know I need to work on that.  The tornado kick is coming along still needs work.
Master Moe took over class today. We did the usual stretches warm ups then formed two lines and practiced kicks  and blocks. Master Moe held two targets and we practiced tornado kicks. I was still shifting a little an my back swing kick isn't ended to kick the targets. At the very end of class   we practiced our form. Tomorrow I plan on practicing forms with power. I know the forms but I have no power in them, it's something to work on. All in all it was a great class, great workout. Looking forward to class tomorrow.

Reflection

I was thinking of the Tenets of Taekwondo perseverance, self control, indomitable spirit, courtesy and integrity in connection to how my life has changed since I started training. They appear in  every day life even though we may not realize it at first.
The most obvious place we see courtesy is in the dojang during training, saying sir or ma'am when addressing others, bowing out of respect to instructors, masters, and each other. The outside wold works the same way. I'll never forget walking into a store once after Taekwondo to buy a card for someone's birthday. When I went up to the register the woman looked at me as I said "How are you ma'am?"
Perseverance is working towards something and not giving up no matter how hard or impossible it seems. A famous quote is a black belt is a white belt who never quit.  Nothing is ever easy  you have to work hard for everything. In Taekwondo you keep you keep going and don't give up. It will get hard and you may have a bad day, not understand a technique but keep working at it and it'll pay off. When I first started training I couldn't go down for a split at all it was like a mountain. Thanks to some of the great friends I've met I kept stretching with their help in class and although I can't do a full split yet I'm further then I thought I'd ever be. The same goes for school. Always work to achieve the highest thing you can, to earn A's in your classes or get your degree. For me I will keep coming to class and train hard no matter how difficult it gets. Similarly I will earn my Master's degree even with obstacles trying to trip me up.

Fear is a 4 letter word

So after a really long day of working in a freezing cold center (our heat is out) I come home eat dinner and head to Taekwondo. My feet ache, my arms hurt my back cracks when I move it but I force myself to go knowing it'll all feel better once class starts. We started the same way we always do basic stretching and warm ups push ups plank, sit ups push ups again squats splits. Then Master separated us so we all had room and showed us the first technique we were going to be doing, a backwards roll. When it was time to practice I rolled my feet dangling over my had in the opposite direction of my head. My feet dangled in the air instead of hitting the floor. Slowly I rolled back time after time and the closest I got was my toes barely touching the floor.
After a bit of practice Master lined us up in two lines to practice what we just did. We practiced rolling forward first. As the others went ahead of me I watched coaching myself to take it slow. Master sat in the middle with another of our black belts by the wall to help us. When I went I set up tucking my arm in following the instructor's assistance. Not really thinking about it I pushed myself forward and rolled straight landing with my feet ready in case I needed to stand up. I was so shocked and happy and dizzy at the same time. The last time we rolled I went in fearful of getting hurt and wasn't able to roll. It's true what they say fear is only a 4 letter word and perseverance will definitely pay off.

exhaustion and perserverance

It's been a long time since I've attended class every single day. I figured I'd be fine and went ahead to train on my own. Not only did I train for an hour in Taekwondo but I also felt a little soccerish so I practiced some moves hitting the ball against the top of my foot and my knee, then went to class that night.
When I woke up Tuesday morning I felt my legs stiffen up so bad I could barely move. I debated whether or not to skip class but remembered I promised to come in early to help with the kids. Not really wanting to break a promise I showed up for the early class. Any chance I got I stretched but even bending hurt! I was getting worried that I wouldn't be able to do my class. Moving around helping the kids helped me forget about my body issues. When it came time for my class I used the five extra minutes to get a good stretch before we stretched together.After stretching we lined up in the back and did some basic kicks to warm up our legs starting with front kicks, went on to roundhouse kicks then ax kicks. We were paired up with someone in the middle and two people on either side of them holding a target. The person in the middle did front leg roundhouse kicks then turned and did the same on the other side with the other foot.  When they finished we switched the person in the middle held the target and one of the other two went in the middle etc. When it was my turn in the middle I picked up my leg for the front leg roundhouse but my leg resisted barely coming up. Fighting through it I was able to finish the rounds and even do some ax kicks (although not as high)

When we finished we moved onto other techniques with pads.After kicking so many times my legs finally gave up although I did feel it when we sat down for a minute break. After our break we practiced forms from beginner to high level. By the third form my face started burning red with sweat.We also practiced one step sparring techniques with a partner. For the last five minutes of  class we did cardio. Every squat ached throughout my legs and I slowed down. Two minutes seemed like a long time when your legs don't want to move. Taking short breaths I pushed through it somewhat slower but not wanting to give up fully either. Perseverance  came through today and I realized pushing yourself is good but knowing your boundaries is better to avoid injury.

dinner afterwards

begining

I don't remember why I decide to take up Taekwondo. One day I was in my room and it just hit me that I wanted to take up a martial art. At the time I only knew of karate based on what I saw on television. I researched types of martial arts on the internet narrowing it down to two, karate or taekwondo that were near my house. I took shotokan karate as a kid but it lasted only a week due to lack of interest and the instructor hitting the back of your leg is you were in the wrong stance. I carefully researched each school, on the websites and calling individual schools with lists of questions. After only an hour I narrowed it down to only two schools. The first school I visited the instructor answered my questions shortly and curtly which left me with only one school. The second school was my old school which I wasn't thrilled about going back to.
On my way home from work one day a path I often took, we passed by a Taekwondo school I never saw before. Intrigued I started walking by but something made me stop and go in. It was dark inside with no classes going on yet.  An older man sat at the desk wearing a white uniform and black belt. I introduced myself explaining I wanted to take up martial arts. He smiled kindly telling me to come back and speak with grand master the next day who will happy to discuss the classes with me. I returned the day after speaking to the grand master deciding to try the month program.  Grand master kindly answered my question discussing the type of adult class he offers, how discipline works and tuition.  
 I was nervous the day of my first class a Friday evening. A little after the hour Grand Master joined in the only one there!! He taught me some stretches that they use. I stumbled and winced as my body protested. Not only have I never stretched before I was also overweight and clumsy. Boy did my my body hurt the next day. Still I couldn't wait for the next class, now I was hooked! 
The next class was full with others of different rankings. A tall muscular man with a beard and ponytail and a black belt around his waist sat in front talking to another man with  a red belt around his waist. I nodded sitting in the corner quietly. The muscular man approached me, asking "Hi I'm Matthew is this your first day." I nodded mumbling shyly "Yes" He replied with a friendly smile and a "welcome' before calling us to line up. This stretching was just as bad as the first time with me stumbling, almost falling over my feet. Not even five minutes in heat radiated from my face.Matthew gave me an encouraging smile and nod throughout the entire thing. Despite my clumsiness and apparent lack of direction class was fun, everyone was really nice and I loved every minute of it.